Nuggets from Art
Nuggets of wisdom and wit from a kindly old
mystic cloistered in
a fire proof building on the Cuyahoga.
Time and Your Life |
Hollywood Squares Laughs
Time and Your Life
|When things in your life seem almost too much to
handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember
the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had
some items in front of him. When the class began, he
wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise
jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He
then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed
that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The
pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf
balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was
full. They agreed that it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured
it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up
everything else He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from
under the table and poured the entire contents into the
jar effectively filling the empty space between the
sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided,
"I want you to recognize that this jar represents your
life. The golf balls are the important things--God, your
family, your children, your health, your friends and
your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your
job, your house and your car. The sand is everything
else-the small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he
continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf
balls. The same goes for> life. If you spend all your
time and energy on the small stuff you will never have
room for the things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to
your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to
get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner.
Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the
house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls
first--the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what
the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad
you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how
full your life may seem, there's always room for a
couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Sometimes we just need to be
A well-known speaker started off his
seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200,
he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up. He
continued, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you
but first, let me do this." He proceeded to
crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked,
"Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"
And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it
into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now
crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very
valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the
money, you still wan ted it
because it did not decrease in value. It was still
worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are
dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the
decisions we make and the circumstances that come our
way. We feel as though we are worthless. But
no matter what has happened or what will happen, you
will never lose your value.
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are
still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what
we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.
You are special - Don't EVER forget
Count your blessings, not your problems.
And remember that amateurs built the ark, while
professionals built the Titanic.
If God brings you to it - He will bring
you through it.
Laughs from the Original Cast of Hollywood
Questions and Answers from the original Hollywood
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least
how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party
and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come
out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to
say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple
and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or
less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question
Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects
at nudist camps - One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in
Q. Can boys join the CampFire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on his head he will wag his tail.
What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you
give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid
of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong
with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting
"Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your
body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your
wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
believes in them and has actually seen them on at least
two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you
should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
More Nuggets from Art