Nuggets from Art

Nuggets of wisdom and wit from a kindly old mystic cloistered in
a fire proof building on the Cuyahoga.

  |  Lessons from YogiDid You Know | Sarcasm from people with brains...

Lessons from Yogi

Yogi Berra was a better baseball player than he was a speaker, or was he?  He has probably been quoted more often than Winston Churchill.  Much of what he said seems silly, until you think about it for a moment... then you may discover a more profound meaning.  Here are a few favorite Yogi-isms.
  • "You can't think and hit at the same time."
  • "Nobody goes there; it's too crowded."
  • "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."
  • "The only reason I need these gloves is 'cause of my hands."
  • "We were overwhelming underdogs."
  • "The other team could make trouble for us if they win."
  • "It's never happened in World Series history, and it hasn't happened since."
  • "It's dé-jà vu all over again!"
  • "We made too many wrong mistakes."
  • "If people don't come to the ballpark, how are you gonna stop them?"
  • "If you ask me a question, I don't know I'm not going to answer."
  • "Slump? I ain't in no slump...I just ain't hitting."
  • "It was hard to have a conversation with anyone, there were too many people talking."
  • "Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.""When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
  • "We're lost, but we're making good time."
  • "If the world were perfect it wouldn't be."
  • "If I didn't wake up I'd still be sleeping."
  • "I usually take a two hour nap from 1 to 4."
  • "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
  • "It gets late early out here."
  • "90% of the game is half mental."
  • "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
  • "Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died."
  • "I'm as red as a sheet."
  • "I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question."
  • "Pair up in threes."
  • "Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken."
  • "Don't get me right, I'm just asking!"
  • "Never answer an anonymous letter."
  • "You can observe a lot by watching."
  • "It's not too far, it just seems like it is."
  • "You've got to be careful if you don't know where you're going 'cause you might not get there."
  • "We have a good time together, even when we're not together."
  • "Little League baseball is a good thing 'cause it keeps the parents off the streets and it keeps the kids out of the house!"
  • "The future ain't what it use to be."
  • "It ain't over till it's over."
  • "I really didn't say everything I said."

Did you know


 

    

For those who thought
They knew everything

here's a refresher course!


The liquid inside young coconuts
can be used as a substitute for

Blood plasma.


No piece of paper can be folded in half

more than seven (7) times.


Donkeys kill more people annually


than plane crashes.


You burn more calories sleeping


than you do watching television.



Oak trees do not produce acorns


until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.


The first product to have a bar code


was Wrigley's gum.



The King of Hearts is the only king


WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE


American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987
by eliminating one (1) olive


from each salad served in first-class.


Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.


(Since Venus is normally associated with women,

what does this tell you!)


Apples, not caffeine,


are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.



Most dust particles in your house are made from


DEAD SKIN!

 

The first owner of the Marlboro Company
died of lung cancer.


So did the first "Marlboro Man."


Walt Disney was afraid

 OF MICE!



PEARLS MELT

IN VINEGAR!


The three most valuable brand names on earth: 
Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

 


It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...


but, not downstairs.



A duck's quack doesn't echo,


and no one knows why.


Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush
be kept at least six (6) feet away from
a toilet to avoid airborne particles
resulting from the flush.


(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)

Richard Millhouse Nixon


was the first U.S. president
whose name contains all  the letters
from the word
"criminal."


The second ?



William Jefferson Clinton


(Please don't tell me you're SURPRISED!?!!)

And the best for last.....


Turtles can breathe through their butts.


 

Now you know everything


of importance, that is

 

 

 

 

 

 


They knew everythingt

 

 

Sarcasm from people with brains...

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge"
- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in reply

"A sheep in sheep's clothing."
- Winston Churchill, on Clement Atlee

"There but for the grace of God, goes God."
- Winston Churchill, on Stafford Cripps

"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself and hurried on as if nothing had happened."
- Winston Churchill, on Stanley Baldwin
 

 

 

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